Last Updated: 4/17/04
To start, no Josh has NOT been on SNL nor are there plans for him to do the show.
I was watching Saturday Night Live (SNL) on 4/13/04 of a tape from 4/10/04 with Janet Jackson. I was reminded that she's sweet and can act somewhat which is a side you don't often see (just the "wardrobe malfunctions" and funky performances). Then, I thought, Josh would be SO great on SNL! He's said he likes to watch the show; he has a great sense of humor; and he has done some acting as well. Of course, if he did SNL, he'd have to sing a few songs. I think, "Remember When it Rained" and "My December" would be good choices as they're two of my favorites, done in English, and more appealing to non-Grobanites than something in another language for example. I was watching Janet Jackson make fun of her self and thought Josh would probably love to do the same thing. I'm a little (ok, a lot) self-deprecating myself! So, I wrote a possible script poking fun at Josh and Grobanites (Joshaholics) alike so, even though he won't be on SNL anytime soon, we can imagine what some of it might be like! Enjoy!
What follows comes purely from my imagination. It is not approved by anyone, nor has it or will it actually be filmed/created. It's probably not even any good. None of the skit is meant to be mean to Josh or Grobanites but done in fun. I love Josh and all you Grobanites!
I can only hope that one day Josh will read this and get a kick out of it! We have a lot in common (see this section.) But, him reading this is almost as unlikely as my being asked on a date.
Josh as Stan: Josh Groban dressed up to be "Stan." Josh is wearing a wig to hide his curly hair, a fake mustache, glasses, and a shirt that says "HOG" on it.
Wife of Stan: Stan's wife is wearing a FoJG (Friends of Josh Groban) shirt, mid-20's.
Woman Two: This woman is also wearing a FoJG shirt, African American, mid-40's.
Husband of Woman Two: Dressed very properly for a well-off man, African American, ~50- years-old.
Woman Three: A Grobanite with her requisite FoJG shirt, mid-30's.
Woman Four: Another Grobie with shirt and buttons, about 60-years-old.
Man Three: An obviously homosexual, good-looking man, mid-30's.
A row of seats at a Josh Groban concert. Seating is as such from left to right:
Woman two, husband of woman two, Josh as Stan, wife of Stan, woman three, woman four, and man three.
[Woman three, woman four, and man three shuffle into their seats, overwhelmed with joy and excitement. Wife of Stan follows in moving left to right to her seat (only her happy face is shown). Josh as Stan follows. He looks bored. In comes from the left, husband of woman two followed by woman two who is enthusiastic about the concert.]
Woman three: Oh, my Josh, I can't believe we're here! [Sits.]
Woman four: Me neither. We're actually going to see Josh Groban! [Sits.]
Man three: I've died and gone to heaven! [Sits.]
Wife of Stan: Stan, help me sit and catch my breath. [Sits with his help]
Josh as Stan: Ok, dear. [Starts to sit as husband of woman two follows him in. Husband of woman two spots Stan's HOG t-shirt.]
Husband of woman two: Well finally, I find a real man in this mess. So, you're into motorcylces too, huh? [Addressing Josh as Stan and pointing to his shirt.]
Josh as Stan: Um, no. That stands for "Husband of a Grobanite."
Husband of woman two: What's that? Something like a Klingon?
Josh as Stan: No, it's what these Joshaholics call themselves.
Husband of woman two: Oh, boy, I just don't get it!
Josh as Stan: Me neither. What's he got that I haven't?
Wife of Stan: Stan, be quiet, the show is starting!
Woman three: Is that Josh's housekeeper over there? I have to get her autograph!
[Cue music to Mi Mancherai, shortening the violin introduction for the sake of time. Yes, I know, this isn't his first song in concert but I picked it for a reason!]
Woman three: Oh, my God, I'm going to die!
Woman four: Woooo, woooo!
Man three: I love you Josh!!!
[Side note, a man said this at one of Josh's concerts, and he said, "I love you too." Realizing it was a man, he said, "Well, it could have been a woman" or something to that effect.]
Wife of Stan: I want to have your baby Josh! [Standing up, you realize that she's 9 months pregnant.] [Side note, at the Josh concert I saw in Baltimore on 3/29/04, someone did shout, "I want to have your baby" to which Josh replied, "I don't know; we hardly know each other; I'm not ready for marriage yet."]
Josh as Stan: But you're having my baby!
Wife of Stan: You wish! I only married you because you look vaguely like Josh!
Husband of woman two: Oh, boy, at least I don't have that problem.
Woman two: Shut up jerk! He's starting to sing! My hormones are racing!
Husband of woman two: Hormones? I didn't know you still had hormones! [Side note, when I went to Josh's concert, a man behind me said this to his wife!]
[Playing Josh starting to sing Mi Mancherai in the background.]
Woman three: [Attempting to sing along but doing so poorly] Me monkey rye say tay mer vay. Me monkey...
Woman four: [Crying uncontrollably] This is soo beautiful!
Man three: I love you Joshy!!!
Wife of Stan: [Starting to cry] He's amazing.
Josh as Stan: Oh please, he's not half as good looking as I am! [Big laugh guys!]
Husband of woman two: You guys are all nuts!
Woman two: Grobnuts dear.
Josh as Stan: I don't understand a word he's saying!
[Song reaches climax.]
Wife of Stan: Ahhh!!! Oh, no my water broke!
Josh as Stan: Oh, no!
Wife of Stan: Stan, do you have my stuff in the car?
Josh as Stan: Yes.
Wife of Stan: Including my Josh CD.
Josh as Stan: Um, it's at home.
Wife of Stan: Oh, we'll have to go get it after the concert is over. [Starts waving her concert light stick while making alternating faces of pain and joy.]
[Fade out with all continuing to comment, cry, scream for Josh, pant (pregnant woman), etc.]